Be kind to those who are unkind

A few weeks ago I drove by Living Word Church and their sign had a message that really stuck with me. It said, “Be kind to those who are unkind.”

Immediately the old saying “kill them with kindness” came to mind, but after thinking about it, I don’t think that is the same as what this message meant.

We typically “kill” people with kindness when we want something or when we will somehow benefit from it. WE are the ones who will benefit, but the person or people on the other side likely won’t. It’s a selfish act, if you think about it.

We all have bad days… heck, even weeks or months. And it can unintentionally and even unknowingly affect your mood and attitude towards others. This can especially been true when you are struggling with something in life. When people are struggling with something, they don’t necessarily want others to know. Some people just want to deal with things privately and that’s their choice. We don’t know what goes on behind closed doors with strangers and even with our friends or family. We shouldn’t judge people for things we don’t know anything about. So maybe that waitress isn’t just crabby. Maybe that co-worker isn’t evil and out to get you. Maybe that store worker isn’t just being difficult. Maybe that stranger you pass by everyday walking to work isn’t mad at the world. Maybe your relative doesn’t really hate you. Maybe they are just struggling and dealing with something you have no idea about, and it’s making them unkind.

You have the power to change their day. Being kind to others can be such a simple way to have an impact on someone. Being kind can be simple gestures such as saying hello to or smiling at a stranger. It can be opening the door for someone. As I’ve encountered, it can be paying for the next order in the drive-thru. Even saying a simple please, thank you and have a nice day is being kind. There are so many ways you can be kind to someone.

Being kind can make someone smile, even if it’s just on the inside. A kind gesture just might stick with them as a nice memory. Being kind might help them forget what is wrong, if only for a few minutes. The more kindness someone receives, the more likely they are to feel less and less down about whatever they are struggling with; and maybe one day they will feel like everything is going to be ok and be happy.

This also brings me back to November 2013 when I participated in a presentation put on by Kirk Smalley of Stand for the Silent, an anti-bullying organization. Kirk and his wife lost their son Ty because of bullying. He was bullied to the point where he felt the only way out was to take his own life. Can you imagine feeling that way?

During the presentation Kirk made it so clear that we all can be bullies. At some point or another we all have been a bully. We just don’t realize it. Any time we call someone a name like “stupid,” “dumb” or “lazy,” we are being a bully. Any time we do something like take something from someone or any time we lightly shove someone, we are being a bully. We don’t necessarily say or do these things with mean intentions, sometimes they just come out of us without thinking; but every time we do, we are being unkind.

Maybe if more people shown kindness to Ty, the unkindness of the bullies wouldn’t have gotten to him.

It’s so easy to be unkind. Sadly enough, it’s become natural to be unkind. When someone is rude, unpleasant or not friendly, oftentimes it’s our first instinct to be the same right back, to be unkind.

But it doesn’t have to be. We don’t have to respond to unkindness with unkindness. Let’s change this. Let’s start a trend of responding to unkindness with kindness. Let’s start a trend of being kind for no reason. Make a point to do something kind at least once a day and as the days go by do more and more. It’s easier than you think.

Be kind to those who are unkind.